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Though I have deep compassion that totally gets pain, hardship and unexpected change, I also have the research that is going to tell you every step we take is not just to feel the pain but to move your path forward, begin to heal and live from a place of abundance, not your pain.
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Promising You the Best integrated Healing Solutions,
for individuals and companies alike.
I will not lie, it has not been easy BUT totally worth it! ~ Higinia
IOIH is birthed in 2015
IOIH was actually birth 30+ years ago but the events that propelled its creation happened in March of 2015. After setbacks to our desire to foster and adopt and a journey of continuous investment in counseling, support groups, mentorship, coaching, training and correct actions, God revealed to me He was recycling my pain for my gain and my story/journey would help many. After personally going through the Evidence-Based Grief Recovery Method® (GRM) program, I was inspired to become an Advanced Grief Recovery Specialist and build Inside Out Integrative Health (IOIH). The GRM program has been a foundational part of my journey, to not only rebound in areas of previous pain and failure but thrive and live my best self yet. About the Business Logo and Name Throughout my healing journey I have experienced different solutions that focused on mind, body, or spiritual healing but never all collectively. They provided some benefit but it felt like it was "patchy", it wasn't lasting healing. I learned healing that leads to greater well-BEING must always begin from the inside out, to uncover the core of the wounding and not merely the symptoms. Addressing only the symptoms is merely superficial and short-lived at best. I also became convinced that to be able to achieve wholesome living, we could not fragment self. I would need to integrate wellness solutions that were cross-functional to include all aspects of a person - Body, Soul and Spirit. Integrative has a secondary meaning. We don't dismiss or forget our grief but we "integrate" it in our living in a healthy manner since it is part of our whole story. Grief recovery is an on-going process. Recovery is Progressive Another special aspect about IOIH is that the "O" of the logo has a spiral inside. As just mentioned, I learned in my own journey that recovery is not linear but progressive. Recovery looks more like a spiral. This spiral perspective is best explained by what author Robin Weidner shares (which I first learned at the Younique Training, Dec. 2019). She explains, "Jacob Bernoulli's growth spiral or logarithmic spiral, called this spiral miraculous because although the size of the spiral increases as it moves outward, its shape is unaltered with each successive curve. So its with spiral growth - as you spiral upward and outward your spiritual perspective is transformed." (Robin Weidner, Grace Calls). So in other words, we should see our healing as a spiral journey that even though we may feel we are struggling with "the same issue without much progress", we are actually making progress. This progress is from a different level and perspective. From this new point of view, we can recognize our triggers better and possible false beliefs and can rebound quicker and not stay trapped in the pain. 
I am truly relieved to discover that the journey of healing is spiral rather linear because like Weidner shared, I too have felt the shame and guilt of backsliding. So I love Weidner's reminder, if healing wasn't spiral "we would only have two directions we could go forward or backwards ...viewing growth as spiral gives security and safety by releasing us from the fear that it is wrong to go backwards! We enter the deep waters of our losses with Jesus, and He gifts us with long-term growth."
I can't express what incredible freedom this truth gives! Together we will forge forward, even if sometimes you take some steps backwards. I truly love being on this healing journey with you to help you move beyond the pain, loneliness and isolation caused by loss. The TRUTH IS recovery from grief is possible and does not have to be a permanent condition or allowing loss and wounds to frame your present and future. This is where IOIH does its best and why I was so intentional in selecting the name Inside Out Integrative Health. This is my life-time focus and what IOIH offers. |
My Story ~ Higinia (ee he knee ah)
My journey of healing has extensive issues of rejection, abandonment, too many deaths of loved ones, illness, divorce, sexual abuse, job loss, frequent moves, infertility, racism/discrimination, loss of dreams, loss of trust, loss of faith, just to name a few.
In 2017, I hit one of the darkest periods in my life after my Mom died from lung cancer in just 5 weeks after she was diagnosed. Around this time, I also lost two wonderful brother-in-laws, two dear cousins and experienced a painful loss of trust due to religious wounding. Rediscovering hope took me on this healing journey where I learned that I, could not continue to dismiss the pain/loss that had accumulated since I went through the Grief Recovery Method® in 2004. I had ignored pain and loss from past wounding and personal choices and the consequence of ignoring my pain hoping ‘time would heal all wounds' or that my good experiences would make up for any pain I had experienced had caught up to me. Nothing was left untouched. It was negatively affecting every single area in my life. I was angry, joyless, depressed, bitter and frequently ill. This is what unresolved grief/pain does. In the Beginning~ Even though 2018 was a significant turning point for me when my Mom died suddenly, my story begins in childhood. While my father never hurt us physically, my childhood was tumultuous constantly living in fear and anxiety with his alcoholism and rages. I experienced rejection, neglect, abandonment and was left alone often with my sisters (no adults). I felt invisible and insignificant. The youngest of five girls, I learned from a very young age (from what I experienced and saw modeled by my parents and other authority figures) that other people's feelings mattered more than mine. I learned that I had to be "strong and understanding...and strong for others" especially when there was a loss or significant crisis, which resulted in constructing an deep inner-lie in my soul that often screamed out, "I didn't matter at all; I wasn't important; I wasn't significant" and I needed to "be strong". My solution as a child was to determine to live a life where I would "prove" that I did matter - that I was significant and "enough AND perfect" to deserve love and attention.....and I could handle life all on my own. I grew up being tenacious and passionate. I left home to attend college and pursued a career in Public Service with the Federal Government followed by work with city government and non-profits working with youth programs, disaster relief and church ministry. In everything I did, I settled for nothing less than a "perfect" execution. I experienced great success but underneath there was so much pain and brokenness from childhood wounds and society's fundamentally flawed misinformation about how to deal with grief. Never did I know to associate my pain with "grief". I am a proponent of counseling and have personally sought counseling and attended support groups as well. While helpful, I still "felt stuck", unable to enjoy life NOW. My heart was too wounded so I pushed relationships away with my "perfectionism", being so guarded and "too married" to harmful, limiting beliefs. In 2004, two weeks before my greatly anticipated wedding day, some red flags appeared in the relationship, I decided to cancel my wedding and end the relationship. This was one of the hardest, most painful events I had experienced as an adult. Later that same year, a terrible fatality occurred in my family that was life-altering. After the loss of my dream to wed and the tragedy in my family, I shut down completely, isolating myself from everyone, including God. I was so angry and despondent. A dear friend happened to hear about The Grief Recovery Method®, pleaded with me to consider looking into it. I ended doing the program "only to accompany her for her benefit". But wow, so thankful for the actions I learned and took. I began a transformational healing experience and freedom from my deeply rooted pain. I have continued to be on this incredible journey of healing. My walk with God has been the most significant part of my healing but I am truly grateful God also equips others, like the Grief Recovery Institute® (GRI) with tools that compliment His divine healing. However, I will not lie - it has not been easy BUT it is worth it! |